friends

Yesterday, I had two amazing nice conversations with friends.
First, I caught a friend just for a minute to ask him one question. When I was about saying goodbye & going my way, he stopped me & lent me a book with words: "I received it on Christmas and I think it's a cool one. But I'm reading three other books right now... So I though that You could like it" (I'm going to be "the first reader". I'm privileged ;)
Second, I called one friend from Vila Real. He asked about my progress at university... And suddenly, he asserted "Asia, leave it. The UTAD is nice, so come here, finish your degree and stay forever!"
Just two simple moments - a little bit funny, eventually nothing special. But... well, it was brilliant :) Probably that were my best ticks during several weeks. Maybe just because it was so simple & natural. Never mind, I'm still smiling.

wisdom

"Lord, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other" Marcus Aurelius

memories

I discovered how good is to have a collection of photos from almost my life on a hard disk. Maybe it isn't very clever but it makes memories stronger. Or better, reminds them in a right moment. When You are really alone, because is no person You can disturb during a wonderful spectacle called Christmas, it's very easy to completely collapse (no hope, no dreams, no future...) So the photos help to think about good things. I'd never suspected that so many good things would happen to me - friends, travels, Erasmus, music, choirs, work, AWF, so many good people everywhere... but it all was real, that's fact. A logical deduction forces me to assume that I'm not lost yet. I still have some chances for precious moments to live for. I'm just not seeing them now.

Right now, I just want to meet all my friends who I haven't seen for so long time :/ From Kalisz & Vila Real. Maybe in next year.

action carols

Sometimes I'm looking around and I feel that I'm wasting my precious time - going my own way, taking care just about myself & my pleasure. People are everywhere around but so often I just pass by them being exactly the same indifferent. It's nothing to be proud of. But small & simple actions really can a lot. Create a community for example. A conclusion is uncomplicated: each of us is able to do something important, at least in somebody's else mind.
My simple thing before Christmas: red funny hat, guitar and carols. Everywhere where I'll be at uni till an end of this week. Maybe is incredible stupid. But is something simple what people can do together to celebrate something. To acclaim our university koinonia for instance.

Yes, I know I repeat myself. But it is something I deeply believe - we can change the world to make it a better place. That's possible. Certainly.

before I die

I've just seen that sentence on a web page. Nothing special, just something like simple memento mori without any particular moral message. But it corresponds with though stream in my mind. Who I want to be? What will be my testimony? Sorry because this bid word.
I heard that the death is the only certain fact in a everyone's life. And that's definitely truth from a logical point of view.
So what I'd like to do before I die?
I was thinking about publishing my eschatological to-do-list but it isn't a proper way. I will summarize it to one phrase: each day I want to feel that I used my time in right way, have a tiny contribution to the most important task - make a word better place to live. If it's enough motivation to find some power to fight with my fears, it's also enough to encourage others to believe in something worth. Maybe it's selfish or just a simple compensation but I want to be recognised as a man of worth.

Don't forget that I'll also hitch-hike around the globe - I've been dreaming about that for too long time to resign. I'll just complete my bachelor degree and... I'm making a specified list of compulsory destinations - China, Tibet, Australia, New Zealand, Brazil, Chile, Peru, Maghrib, the Near East countries (Egypt, Syria, Turkey, Israel, etc.) Ready to go?

culture of dialogue

I've got a quite serious difficulty with one (very important for me) problem at university. Normally, I used to run away or pretend that everything is right. But someone made me "a brainwashing" - I have no idea how many times I heard that people should report their problem before it would grow too big. So I decided to confess all my doubts concerned to swimming & my great teaching future. OMG, it works! Incredible! Remarkable! Maybe I even would make a theory of "the culture of dialogue" :P

Tomorrow I'm going to repeat such effective idea with another guy from uni. I hope even a favourite students' nightmare professor has a conscience. Eventually, everyone has... some individuals just don't use it too often...

a marriage offer

An unknown GG number, just one message. And this very specified list of requirements.

Do you know a girl who:
1) is unmarried (and single).
2) is between 20 and 28 years old.
3) is a believer (Roman-Catholic Church).
4) is a virgin (in a full meaning of this word).
5) has a high regard to a pre-marital purity.
6) recognises an utter fidelity toward a future husband.
7) rules out an abortion.
8) doesn't allow to use contraceptives.
9) doesn't smoke.
10) drinks alcohol at the best on occasion.
11) has never tried drugs.
12) lives permanently in Poland and she isn't going to emigrate abroad.
13) like riding a bike and travels.
14) is wise, frank, honest.
15) doesn't believe in horoscopes, fortune-tellers and other superstitions.
If yes, give her my phone number ***-***-***
If no, send this message to your acquaintances.
Robert

I just deleted a phone number. I really received this. Moreover, I fulfil almost all of these demands. So I replied - astonished and curious :P But maybe I was too nasty - no respond till now ;) Anyway, that's a real despair...
(A translation into English committed by me)

talking about music

Yesterday I talked with one friend about music. Well, actually he was the person who was talking about... And.. I was impressed, using an euphemism.
Let me explain on thing: I'm a child of musicians, half of my friends study music, play music, sing in choirs, etc. We all talk about music very often, sometimes even argue.
On the contrary, the friend in question belong to completely other world. And during my whole entire life I've never met anyone who was able to describe music in such incredible fine & amazing accurate way. Adding his eagerness - his face shone with happiness and those flames in eyes... Summarizing, definitely unusual sensibility and great talent in analysing music.

First thought: "OMG, this guy should be a musician! What a pity that he isn't!"
Second thought: "Maybe apply him some EEG? No, magnetic resonance will be better!"
Conclusions: people who should be musicians are physical education teachers, people who trying to be PE teachers should be scientists ;)

dog

So it happened - I live in one room with a dog... She's called Gumka (pl: Rubber), it's a typical small black mongrel. The nice, quiet & smart dog.
I'm in better condition that I supposed myself to be :) Impossible... But I hope she won't want to be my friend.

hazing in Spartakus

Using my position of older student :)







[October 29, 2008]

smile

Smile!
I smile every day - no particular reasons.
Ok, there're some :)
I have to show off :P
- one incredible guy said that he liked talking with me,
- another amazing guy (Professor!) wants to work with me in a lab,
- I have gymnastics again,
- I'll be printed in a university magazine,
- I should have my winter stuff in this week (it's snowing right now in Wrocław),
- I started to sing in a good choir,
- so many people from all university smile to me each time when they notice me :)

Instead a summary: a horrible emoticon ^_^

english

In last days I committed a strange observation. Namely, I still think in English. To say more, I even don't control it... I just noticed that usually I switch myself to English when I'm upset or moved. Several times it happened to me that I started to talk in English without any particular reason to people who don't speak English at all just because I was really stressed...
I have no idea why... Especially, because I`ve used almost Polish for four months. Maybe I should visit a psychiatrist? Is any one able to explain me why English became my language of strong emotions? Indeed that's crazy with no doubts.

Polish in Google Translate

Go to Google Translate & type "kraków i wrocław" (names of Polish cities) - results are incredible! The best joke I've ever seen in automatic translation. Even better than "z góry dziękuje >> thank you from the top of the mountain" (thank you in advance)

unforgettable

Today I`ve been in Poland exactly for one month time. Summarise: I still think in English, all time. Maybe it`s a way to protect myself against becoming again the same person who I used to be before the mature exam. I feel like hanging on the rope above the Alps & staring at three geographical directions.

Many things are over. Many things in Poland are over too. Nothing in my past I really want to have back. Almost nothing...

Future? I`m trying to organise myself among several ideas of life. I know that I`m able to make everything much more complicated than it is to the other people. I`m sure just about one thing: it`s high time to stop playing bad old game. "Don`t think, do it" I realised that I have to rely just on me. My new independent life is waiting for me with open arms to hug me. Possibly, strangle me a little bit too.

At least, I started to tidy up my folders with photos from Portugal so I hope I`ll send them You soon. Some of them will appear here as well.

One good piece of information to finish this post as an optimist. Jorge is in Poland now :D So I`m spending the next several days with one of my best friends :D

transparent internet

I`ve just noticed that one of my teachers from sport`s university saw my Nasza Klasa profile (kind of Polish hi5)... Of course, I`ve never uploaded anything what I should be ashamed of, but... But immediately I stopped feeling comfortable with this blog & net society`s profiles. Maybe it isn`t wise to upload private informations like names, photos, etc. I realised that being so carefree can have worse results than a teacher laughing of my photos. Actually I`m about cancelling all this gibberish.

Photos from my crazy trip in Portugal with my mad sister later. Or maybe not...

a voice

Sometimes I`m hearing the voices. Of course, not these schizophrenic crazy ones which are covering my reality but from time to time I simply feel what is important in life. I spent today a really long time (I obviously should study then but... whatever :) remaining my best moments from Portugal. When I think about good memories I`m always surprised how simply they are - party with guitar playing, sharing a bottle of wine with a good friend, nice conversations with professor Saavedra (I`ll marry a guy like him! For sure, I will ;), first pool with butterfly stroke, evenings in Insomnias, dinner prepared by friends (never wine from Alentejo again...) - all these moments which you can spend among other people felling that you are really with them. On the other hand, I know that I`m not from here & in two months time all my life in Portugal will have been just memories. Sad. I`m gonna fuck saudades, every one of them.
Maybe it`s stupid - despite previous paragraph I`ve been missing Poland each day. The stronger, the longer I`m here... During last seven months Poland started to be the most amazing beautiful country in which people use the most sophisticated language, education is on the highest level, even the sky is more blue. I`m dreaming about badminton, anthropomotorics lab, Szczytnicki Park, crowded trams, the Cathedral Island and my voluntary project. Just one insignificant problem - I`m not settlement there.
Actually, deeply in myself I`ve already known that I`m not based permanently anywhere. A voice - the same which forces me to hitch-hike or sleep under the trees even if I have enough money to avoid it. The National Geographics magazine with impressive photos. The Laurousse`s Encyclopaedia for children full of illustrations and colourful maps. The hours looking through albums or guidebooks. And the worst of bad - friends from all continents.
Of course, maybe it`s just an escape from real life committing by an immature child.
Time to sleep. A ginástica é muito cedo :( I`ll just find a Chinese phrasebook...

in memoriam

It is a poem written by Jan Twardowski* - about time which we cannot stop. Every moment is important because any minute is gonna repeat... I`ve been always thinking that I had so much time for everything. Now I know - just deceptive appearances. Sometimes is too late.
I regret - all those things which I had should do but I didn`t.


* - Śpieszmy się [Let us hurry up] by Jan Twardowski

ideas

Utopianism - a tendency to rely sb`s life upon utopias.

Once again I had an opportunity to convince myself and loose my only religion. Always when I think that I can`t be disappointed more, the life immediately illuminates me in my mistake. Maybe I`m the only one who doesn`t notice sophisticated parabolic expressions... and understand every word so literally. Well, probably I`m also socially handicapped and emotionally ill-suited...

"Ideas are mere words"* But I don`t see any sense without them. Unfortunately, quite often I don`t see it at all.


* from Ocalony [The Survivor] by Tadeusz Różewicz

insomnia

An interesting observation: I always promise myself I`ll be studying and I never do that. Why can I read poetry during half of night but I`m not able to read a book about for example physiology or biomechanics?
Probably I still don`t see how beautiful they are... Well, I`m not Francis Crick but maybe one day I`ll also be send into raptures and receive my own Nobel Prize :P Thank God, I study physical education not mathematics so I didn`t miss my great chance :P
Of course, it can also have something in common with ADHD.